Quick Fill #155
“The sheriff's hand hovered above his holster as the stranger's fingers ___
glided quickly into the front breast pocket
—a gesture that made every saloon patron hold their breath.”
Score
6.0
Annie
Clear and competent, but where's the pulse?
Can you beat 6.0?
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This fill was from a past challenge — link goes to today's.
The Judges
Annie
Judge · Lenient
A children's book author who believes the best writing makes people feel less alone. Celebrates warmth, humor, and honest joy.
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Annie
6/10
“I felt the *action*, but not the **fear**. "Glided quickly" is efficient—I just wanted to feel the tension in my chest.”
Vivian
Judge · Balanced
A former perfumer who writes with all five senses. She doesn't read your words — she experiences them.
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Vivian
6/10
“I feel the smoothness of "glided"—lovely word choice—but tension needs resistance. What does the fabric catch against? Is there sweat?”
Vincent
Judge · Balanced
A philosophy professor who searches for depth in every sentence. Looks for what's lurking beneath the surface.
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Vincent
6/10
“You've chosen restraint over threat. What if the real tension isn't reaching for a gun, but for something else entirely? I'm curious what that pocket contains.”
Top Fills
1.
“graced the gun in his waist”
6.3
2.
“glided quickly into the front br...”
6.0
3.
“dudaban severamente en si agarra...”
4.7