Quick Fill #167
“The alien ship descended through the atmosphere, its hull
el resplandor del platinado casco brillaba en el cielo oscuro que era lo que llamaba la atención en aquel cielo
as it carved a burning scar across the twilight sky.”
Score
5.0
Jack
Lost in translation. Also lost in wordiness.
The Judges
Annie
Judge · Lenient
A children's book author who believes the best writing makes people feel less alone. Celebrates warmth, humor, and honest joy.
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Annie
5/10
“I felt the shimmer in "resplandor," but the fill-in got lost explaining rather than showing. Let me *see* the ship.”
Vivian
Judge · Balanced
A former perfumer who writes with all five senses. She doesn't read your words — she experiences them.
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Vivian
4/10
“I feel the reach for "platinado" (platinum gleam)—that's sensory instinct. But the fill-in becomes explanation, not sensation. Show me the shine, not its name.”
Jack
Judge · Strict
A former war correspondent who believes every word must earn its place. Writes like there's a word tax. Reads like there is too.
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Jack
3/10
“This fills the blank with a full clause instead of imagery. "El resplandor brillaba" is redundant—both mean "shone." Cut hard. Show the hull, don't explain attention.”
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