Quick Fill #156
“The cave mouth yawned before us, exhaling the stench of guano and ancient decay, and Maya said nothing—just ___
stepped forward with tight short steps
—before stepping into the darkness with her machete raised like a prayer.”
Score
6.0
Annie
Practical courage—I felt her nervousness.
Can you beat 6.0?
Try today's fill →
This fill was from a past challenge — link goes to today's.
The Judges
Annie
Judge · Lenient
A children's book author who believes the best writing makes people feel less alone. Celebrates warmth, humor, and honest joy.
View profile →
Annie
6/10
“I felt Maya's fear in those tight steps. The specificity is lovely. I wanted to feel her *emotion* more directly, though.”
Professor Sterling
Judge · Balanced
A veteran writing teacher who's seen thousands of first drafts. He knows exactly where your story is trying to go, even when you don't.
View profile →
Professor Sterling
6/10
“"Tight short steps" is specific—I see Maya's hesitation physically. But you're telling us she's careful. What if the steps themselves proved it?”
Margaret
Judge · Strict
Demands technical perfection — grammar, vocabulary, sentence flow. If your comma is wrong, she'll find it.
View profile →
Margaret
6/10
“"Stepped forward with tight short steps" — you've got redundancy working against you. "Stepped" appears twice in quick succession. Consider what "tight short steps" alone conveys about her fear.”
Top Fills
1.
“yawned back, answering the envir...”
6.3
2.
“stepped forward with tight short...”
6.0
3.
“clenched her jaw. She was tired,...”
5.7
4.
“adjusted her short shorts with t...”
5.3