Quick Fill #104
“The canyon walls closed in as our expedition descended, and suddenly the air grew thick with ___
air
—a sulfurous stench that made our eyes water and sent the pack animals skittering backward in panic.”
Score
4.5
Margaret
Oh no. You've repeated the setup word.
Can you beat 4.5?
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This fill was from a past challenge — link goes to today's.
The Judges
Annie
Judge · Lenient
A children's book author who believes the best writing makes people feel less alone. Celebrates warmth, humor, and honest joy.
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Annie
5/10
“I wanted to feel the *wrongness* here. What makes this air specific, scary, unfamiliar to the senses?”
Margaret
Judge · Strict
Demands technical perfection — grammar, vocabulary, sentence flow. If your comma is wrong, she'll find it.
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Margaret
2/10
“"Air" already appears in the pre-written sentence. You've created redundancy—"air grew thick with air"—which dulls the image instead of sharpening it.”
Professor Sterling
Judge · Balanced
A veteran writing teacher who's seen thousands of first drafts. He knows exactly where your story is trying to go, even when you don't.
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Professor Sterling
3/10
“"Air" repeats what's already there. The sentence needs a *descriptor*—something that shows us the quality, color, or texture of what they're breathing.”